A trending Korean Drama – “Twenty Five Twenty One” has just finished its last episode several weeks ago. To date, this drama is still on the top 10 trending shows in Malaysia’s Netflix. The series also became a trending issue on social media, Twitter – as netizens griped and discussed its ending.
Twenty Five Twenty One tells a story of the leading character – Na Hee-do who recalls her past and as a viewer, we see her journey of first love, friendship and her struggles to follow her passion in fencing. Her first love, Baek Yi-jin also struggled to make a living after his parents’ bankruptcy. They both fell in love and had to endure a long-distance relationship.
For some couples, long distance relationships do not always work out because they see the relationship as any other relationships, and not making extra effort, especially in their communications. Poor communication triggers misunderstandings, fights, arguments, which leads to a lack of emotional and physical connections.
The question is: Does absence make the heart grow fonder? Or is it: Out of sight, out of mind?
Violet Lim, Chief of Cupid and CEO of Lunch Actually – Asia’s first and largest dating agency, shares her tips for couples to make long distance relationship work.
Having complete trust in your partner should be number one. Without trust, it is impossible for any relationship to continue smoothly, especially for LDR. Having a long distance relationship means you’re far away physically and often cause a fear of not ending up together, being cheated, and so on. Without trust, you’ll also be far away mentaly from your partner since it leads to jealousy, suspicion and doubt.
Less is NOT More, More is NOT Less, Just Find The Right Balance
For obvious reasons, there comes a feeling of overcompensation when it comes to LDR. Especially in the beginning of it, honeymoon phase aside, you feel the need to constantly talk or you’ll lose “the closeness”. But at the same time, just because you’re in LDR you can’t be smothering each other by constantly expecting to be available all the time. You need to have your own things and friends to be around.
Have Open and Honest Communication
Having an open and honest communication will further strengthen trust and should not be overlooked. No matter how you are feeling, your partner shouldn’t have to guess or come up with their own assumptions about what you are thinking. This is especially important in preventing jealousy or misunderstanding.
What’s the End Goal?
“Where is the relationship heading?” This is probably the scariest question in a relationship. LDR requires a lot of patience and sacrifices. It also works on a different timeline compared to traditional relationships. Most relationships work their way towards realizing if the relationship has a future but with LDR, it’s important to clear it out in the early days before you both make the commitment to each other. There has to be an end-goal because you can’t be in LDR forever or indefinitely. Do you know which one of you is going to move closer? Or are you both working towards moving to the same place after a certain time? Have this conversation openly and honestly.
Putting in Effort / Managing Time
It is important to clear up your calendar to fit in time to talk to your partner, which should include telling them about your day, asking them about their day etc. What works would be scheduling a ‘date-night-call’ every evening before you go to bed. Or sending a text in the morning to brighten up your partner’s day.
You can also send thoughtful gifts or small presents to let your partner know that even though you are apart, you are still thinking about him or her.
Keep the Green Monster in Check
When you think about it, jealousy is healthy in a relationship. It shows that the person cares and is afraid of losing you. However, it can turn to hell very quickly if you don’t keep your emotions in check. When you’re in LDR you need to understand and accept that your partner has life and a routine before you come into theirs. So, to ask them to change things out of your insecurity seems a little unfair, no?
I’m not saying you have to be okay with everything that he/she does but instead of getting jealous and creating toxic relationships in an already tested relationship, set boundaries on what would be acceptable for each other while you both are apart.
Maximize on The Tech and Be Creative
There are many interactive apps out there now that can help couples interact with each other virtually such as Netflix parties (watching the same TV shows together), Houseparty (video call and play games at the same time!), going on virtual ‘outings’ together such as virtual museum tours, virtual Disneyland, and playing online games together. You can also send him/her flowers or their favorite food or simply send a little gift.
Don’t Let Others in Your Head
As much as we love our friends and family, they’re going to be the first ones to tell us that LDR is a bad idea. Why? Because they love you and they want to protect you. Don’t get me wrong, listen to what they have to say but ultimately the decision should be yours and yours alone.
Just remember the relationship is between you and your partner, nobody else is going to understand the dynamic between the both of you. So if distance is the only wrong in that relationship which is making you second guess everything, maybe there are one too many voices in your head and your relationship.
Relationship is not a job but it is hard work. When you’re in LDR, the struggle is real but you need to ask yourself: is your partner worth it? Are you choosing the right way or the easy way? Either way, good things take time to build and a lot of work but if it gets you a soulmate at the end of everything, we think the challenges are worth it, don’t you?
Long distance relationships are indeed hard. Being far away from your loved one is not the ideal situation for any of us. While love is important – it takes a lot more than that. The lesson is clear: are you willing to make all the efforts, compromise, respect and still prioritize your partner during LDR? While Na Hee Do and Back Yi Jin’s long distance relationship might not make it to the end on Twenty Five Twenty One, it doesn’t mean you can’t create your own happy ending in your long distance relationship.
What about singles who want to start their own happy ending in love life but don’t know where to start? Lunch Actually is offering up to 50% off dating packages for eligible singles. Take advantage of this promotion to start meeting compatible singles who are real and genuine in wanting to find a relationship.